Important Announcement.
I've come to make an announcement; Shadow The Hedgehog's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, he took his hedgehog quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com, Shadow the Hedgehog, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO QUILLS, NO PILLOWS. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Earth. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.
WHAT I OFFER
Enclave here.
Who the hell is this?
Try the gain.
Well, your unit doesn't appear to be operational, pal. Who is this?
Huh, it ain't the truth. Just don't let anyone who's got the President's ear hear that. You'll be making cattle-runs to New Reno 'til the end of time pal.
Yeah, you know how unhappy he gets when people complain. He takes it personal like it's a loyalty thing. Maybe that just goes with being the President of United States. Or what's left of 'em.
The President of the United-Fucking-States-Of-America. Who'd you think I was talking about? Who the fu- Who is - What - I should kick your fucking ass, who is this?
Oh? A wise guy, huh? Look, I'm tracing you right now, pal. We'll see how smart you feel with internal security all over your fricking ass. Dickhead!
Ah, a few more moments and I'll have your sorry ass in a sling. Hey, wait a minute... This can't be right. I've got you somewhere on the mainland.
I've got you, at Poseidon Oil, reactor number 5. Ah, well, why don't you just sit tight and I'll order up a little celebration for ya. Including fireworks.
Yeah well, whoever you are, I just dispatched a verti-assault team to your location. Have a nice day.
Usually they just go in shooting. Then let someone else sift through the ashes to figure out what was going on.
Goodbye. Next news on you will be after I read the after-action report.
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